A Word From the Wise
by djenie
Summary: No matter how hard I try, these characters have a mind of their own!
1. Chapter 1

This is based on something I imagine might have happened after the S-5 episode _Ascension._ Spoiler for that episode. I got the idea of a dream conversation between author and character from Satin Ragdoll, over in the Star Trek universe. I thoroughly enjoyed her conversations with her characters!

**JACK DREAMS**

He finds himself walking up a hill, along a gravel driveway; ahead of him, at the top of the hill, is a big log house. Around the house is a carefully tended, gently sloping lawn, and beyond that, woods of oak and maple and pine.

The house has a wide porch with containers of colorful flowers everywhere, hanging from the beams, sitting on the deck, on tables and in raised plant stands. A woman of late middle age sits in a rocking chair on the porch. She has brown hair, shiny with silver strands, pulled back in a ponytail. Her face is pleasant and round, and she is wearing rimless glasses. She is smiling.

He walks up to the steps, and pauses with one hand on the rail. "Hi," he says, tentatively. "Sorry to bother you, but I seem to be lost."

"You're not lost, Jack," she replies. "You're dreaming. Come up and sit down." She gestures to another rocker nearby.

He climbs the three steps to the porch slowly, and sits down gingerly. "Feels awful real for a dream. Where are we?"

"We're in Vermont. This is my home. And I'm dreaming, too, since there's no other way you could be here."

He looks at her closely. "You look familiar. Have we met?"

"No. But I get that a lot. I'm a writer." She tells him her name.

"Oh, yeah! You wrote that series about…" He pauses, frowning. "Sorry, I didn't actually read them myself. My wife Sara loved them. The books were always lying around the house. Your picture was on the back."

She laughs. "I'm surprised you'd know me from that picture. It was taken 20 or 25 years ago. Publishers don't like their authors to age, you know."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Miss…"

"It's Mrs. But you can call me Nan. Oh, the other one's a pen name," she explains, seeing his look. "Would you like a glass of lemonade?" She indicates a pitcher and glasses on a table beside her which he has not noticed before.

"Thank you. It is kind of warm."

She pours and hands it to him. "Yes, the end of July actually gets quite hot up here for a short time."

"So how do you know who I am?" he asks.

"Well, those books aren't the only things I write. I also write fan fiction. About characters from my favorite TV

shows, for example. Lots of people do it. I've written about you."

He is so startled he chokes on the lemonade. "Me?! What on earth would you write about me?" He looks worried. "The only TV I have anything to do with is the Simpsons. And hockey."

"I've written a few stories about you and SG-1, and your adventures traveling through the Stargate."

He stiffens. "That's classified. How do you know about it?"

"Hmmm. Hard to explain. Look, you've run into that alternate realities thing before, right?"

"Yeah… So?"

"Well, you and I live in different realities, Jack. In mine, the Stargate is fiction. It's a television show—great science fiction, by the way! Best thing since Star Trek. Anyway… you and your team, Daniel, Teal'c, Sam, Hammond—all of you are characters in the show."

He sits back. "That's ridiculous! I'm real! My team is real!" He eyes her suspiciously. "Maybe you're the imaginary one."

Nan laughs out loud. "I didn't say imaginary… well, not exactly anyway. I said alternate reality."

"I'm not sure that comforts me," he growls.

"Hmm… No I guess it wouldn't," she says. "I have something specific to talk to you about. That's why you're here."

"Why I'm… You knew I was coming?"

"Of course."

"How?" he demands.

"I made you come, Jack. I'm a writer, remember. I'm writing this right now."

He stares at her, uncomprehending. Finally he shuts his eyes and runs a hand over his face. "This is worse than talkin' to Carter…" he mutters.

She chuckles sympathetically. "What year is it, Jack?"

"Huh?" He stutters at the abrupt change of subject. "Uh… 2001. April. Wait a minute…you said July?"

"In my universe, it's 2012, Jack. We're not in the same timeline."

He rolls his eyes. "Sure, why not!" He pauses a moment. "So that means you know my future?"

"Well, I know _a_ future. The future of the show in _my _reality. Yours might be different."

"Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Sure… Waaay worse than talkin' to Carter!"

"And speaking of Sam, she's really angry at you right now, isn't she?"

"What!" He is getting pretty annoyed himself. "How would you know _that_!?"

"I watch the show, Jack. And after the way you treated her recently, I don't blame her."

He has the grace to look embarrassed. "Wellll… it just didn't sound reasonable, what she was saying. An ascended Ancient staying in her house! How crazy is that?"

"Yes, there's that, too. But mostly it's what happened afterwards. Simmons tried to get her court-martialed!"

"She let him escape," he protests. "I was ordered to keep out of it."

"I know all that," she says. "National security, blah blah blah. One question, Jack. Have you apologized?"

"She won't talk to me."

"You're the one who has to talk, _Colonel!_ And you're still her CO. You can order her to stand still long enough to say _I'm sorry_. Even if she runs away, how far can she get while you say those two little words?"

"She can run pretty fast," he mutters. "Okay. But I don't do apologies very well," he admits, somewhat ashamed.

"Nobody does," Nan says with a bit more sympathy in her voice. "But unless you want to lose her, you'll try."

"Lose her?" he looks puzzled.

Nan hesitates a moment before speaking. "I mean lose her friendship—you do value that, don't you?"

"Yeh! Of course." He sucks in a deep breath. "I do. But suppose she tells me to go take a hike."

"Is that any worse than the way it stands now?" she asks him. "Look, Jack. I shouldn't be doing this, but I'm going to give you some advise. Tell her that her friendship matters to you."

"I don't do the 'talking' thing very well."

"Well, you'd better get over that. Or you're going to have a very frustrating decade coming up."

"What does _that_ mean?" he demands.

"I've said too much already. Just think about it." She stands up. "If you start walking back down that driveway I expect you'll wake up shortly. It was nice to meet you, Jack."

He gets to his feet. "Not sure I can say the same," he admits. "But it _was_ interesting. See you around." He walks down the steps, and heads back down the hill.

"Yes," Nan says quietly to herself. "You will."

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Jack wakes abruptly. He sits up and turns on the light, then stares around his bedroom, half expecting someone to be there. It's empty, of course. _Nan?_ he thinks. And _What the hell was that? _ The clock says three fourteen a.m. He doesn't get back to sleep for the rest of the night.

He sees her in the corridor outside her lab, but she turns and hurries in the opposite direction. "Major Carter!" he calls, in his CO voice, and jogs to catch her.

She stops and turns. "Yes, sir." Her voice is chilly, and she does not look at him, but stares at the wall beyond his shoulder.

He cannot say those two little words.

* * *

_ Thanks for reading; I hope you liked it. I would welcome your comments.


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, that wasn't your proudest moment," Nan says.

Jack jumps about a foot off of his chair, and gapes at the woman sitting across the desk. "What the hell are _you_ doing here? How'd you get into my office?"

"I can be anywhere I want, Jack. _Omniscient observer._ That's what it's called.'

"Ob... ob... what?! There you go again—talking like Carter!" He reaches for the phone. "I'm calling security!"

"That won't do any good. But go ahead and try."

He grabs the receiver and claps it to his ear. Then frowns and jiggles the button. "Where's the dial tone...?"

"Sorry." She sounds anything but.

He gets up from his chair and crosses to the door, grabs the doorknob and twists. Nothing happens. The door remains solidly shut. He tries a couple more times, futilely. Raising a fist, he pounds on the panel but the impact produces no sound. After a moment, he stops, stares from the door to his hand. Finally he turns to face his visitor. "Don't tell me. I'm dreaming again."

She nods, a small smile turning up one corner of her mouth.

He leans back against the door, screws his eyes shut, and digs the fingers of both hands into his hair. "Okay. Say what you have to say."

"Uh-uh." She shakes her head. "It's entirely your dream this time. I didn't start this one. Maybe _you_ have something to say."

He drops his arms, and his body language clearly conveys his frustration. "What would I have to say to you!?"

She shrugs. "Well, it's safe to say anything to me. It's not like I can tell anybody else."

His expression becomes, if possible, even more frustrated. "The more you talk, the more confused I get." He pushes away from the door and goes back to his chair, sitting down with a sigh. "Okay. So I screwed up. I couldn't say it. Two little words. And I couldn't force them out of my mouth!" He sits up. "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you just write about me telling her I'm sorry?—God, I can't believe I said that! You've got _me_ talking your nonsense!"

Nan laughs until tears come to her eyes. "It doesn't work that way, anyhow, Jack," she finally manages to say. "You see, if _you_ can't say it—then I can't say it for you."

"Huh? What happened to omnipotent? You can make the people you write about do whatever you want them to."

"Omniscient." When he scowls at her, she adds, "Look up the difference. And no, I can't. No more than if my creations were real people."

"Wait a minute! How'd we get back to that? I'm as real as you are—actually realer than you are, since I'm dreaming you!" He clamps his hands to his head again. "Oh, my God! Somebody get me out of this rabbit hole!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

"Jack...?" Another voice, far away. "JACK!"

"What?... What?." Jack opens his eyes, finds himself with his head resting on his outstretched arm, the report he's been working on stuck to his cheek.

"Jack? Are you all right?"

He twists his head and looks up. Daniel is standing in his office door. Jack pushes up from the desktop, shakes his head. "Where is she...?"

"Who, Jack?"

"That woman...Nan..." He stops. "Never mind. I was dreaming, I guess."

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah... Didn't sleep very well last night." He rubs his eyes. "What did you need?"

"I was just walking by and heard you talking," Daniel says. "Something about rabbits, I think. Part of the dream?"

"Yeah..."

"Rabbits and some woman named Nan. Must've been an interesting dream."

Jack eyes him coldly. "No, actually. Not at all."

Daniel steps into the office and shuts the door. "You got a minute, Jack?"

"Not really. I gotta finish this report."

"Yeah, you were working hard on that." Daniel sits down in the chair opposite, ignoring Jack's glare.

"Well, now that I've had my nap," Jack says pointedly, "I really should get back to work."

"No, Jack. What you really should do is talk to Sam."

"What d'ya mean? I talk to Sam. She doesn't talk to me."

"Can you blame her?"

"Argh... Come on, Daniel, I just woke up! First Nan, now you!"

Daniel gives him a puzzled look. "Who is this Nan you keep talking about?"

Jack puts his head in his hands. "Nobody you know. Nobody you _want _to know, believe me!"

"Well, if she's telling you to fix things with Sam, then I like her already," Daniel says with a grin.

"Hey! You're supposed to be my friend! Whose side are you on?"

"I am on your side. And on Sam's side. But you're wrong this time. You didn't back her up, and that was wrong."

"I didn't have a choice," Jack grates between clenched teeth.

"It was still wrong."

"Hammond ordered me to keep out of it!"

"Jack, Simmons brought charges against Sam because she let Orlin go through the stargate!"

"The charges were dismissed," Jack snaps. "You can't stop an ascended being from doing whatever they want to. Besides, the weapon would have killed the team on the planet when it exploded if Orlin hadn't been there to take it away."

"And you should've been saying all that in Sam's defense from the start!"

"You don't understand about orders, Daniel!"

"No, I don't," Daniel says. "Not when they hurt your friends. But you can still fix it, Jack. All you have to do is apologize."

"I tried," Jack mutters.

"What...?" Daniel leans forward.

"I tried," Jack says, louder.

"So... what stopped you."

"Dunno. Just couldn't say the words."

"Oh? Why not?"

Jack says nothing for a few moments. Then finally, "She's just so... _intimidating_ when she's mad... and cold like that."

"You mean Sam? You're scared of Sam?" Daniel bites his lip to keep from smiling.

"No! I'm not scared! Not exactly... Oh, shut up, Daniel!" Jack snaps, because Daniel has lost it, and is laughing like a hyena. _This is worse than Nan, _he thinks_. _

"Sorry, Jack..." Daniel wipes his eyes, manages to control himself. "It's just... really funny that you're afraid of Sam..." He is overcome by giggles again.

"Daniel!" Jack warns. "You wouldn't think it was funny if she was looking at you that way!"

Daniel chokes down his laughter. "No... you're right. I wouldn't."

"So, there!"

"Why don't you try calling her?" Daniel suggests. "As soon as she answers, say you're sorry."

"You really think that would work?" Jack looks doubtful.

"What have you got to lose?"

"I'll think about it."

"No. Don't think. Just do it! Here..." Daniel reaches over, grabs the receiver of the phone, punches in Sam's lab extension number and shoves the receiver in Jack's face.

Jack stares at Daniel in shock as the phone buzzes in his ear. Sam answers on the second ring.

"Hello."

Jack's mouth opens and closes once.

"Hello?" Sam repeats. "Anybody there?"

"Carter..." he manages to choke out.

Her voice turns chilly as ice. "Yes, sir. Can I help you?"

"Uh... uh—Daniel wants to speak to you!" Jack shoves the receiver at Daniel, who rolls his eyes in exasperation. Jack pushes it against his ear.

"Hi, Sam," Daniel says.

"Hey, Daniel," she says pleasantly. "What's going on?"

"Jack is having... an anxiety attack." Daniel watches Jack cringe.

"About what?"

"Having to talk to you."

"Good." She hangs up the phone.

Jack buries his head in his arms as Daniel drops the receiver back in the cradle.


End file.
